Just back from Beijing
You may have noticed that this month's newsletter is later than usual. There are a couple of reasons:
1) I am sure your e-mail in-boxes were already overflowing with last-minute campaign messages and pre-holiday alerts.
2) I was in China, where you cannot access Google, Facebook, the New York Times, or many other "western" media outlets. So it was easy to disconnect, unplug, and enjoy the experience of a completely different culture. Needless to say, this was not conducive to newsletter-writing.
In the spirit of better late than never, here is a brief version of my newly renamed monthly: "Outside the Speaker's Bubble." I thought I would share some observations on the act of listening. Listening is fundamental to every speech situation. It is especially important in those smaller interpersonal interactions you might be tempted to categorize as "just talking" and not "speaking." Interviews, for example, and client meetings.
What not to do
In China, we were watching televised coverage of the 18th Communist Party Congress . It was fascinating, following so closely on the heels of our own Presidential election. One particular interview segment on English language CCTV stood out. It looked like a typical interview show, two well-dressed, well-coiffed, well-lit men having a conversation. The CCTV interviewer was questioning a representative from the European Union. Apparently the questions had been scripted to elicit very specific answers. The EU representative was respectful but firm in his responses, which were not the ones desired. The interviewer must have been told by his producer to badger his "guest" into the correct statement, because that is what he tried to do. It was painfully clear to anyone listening that such a statement would not - ever - be forthcoming.
The interview failed spectacularly. No listening was occurring, so no real conversation could take place. Because you can't control the message of someone you can't control. And so the guest was abruptly dismissed even as he was mid-sentence, on-camera!
Comedic fodder
If this blatant censorship had not been so startling to witness, it would have been funny! It was obvious: "We don't like the answer so we'll pretend it doesn't exist." Now, most of us will never find ourselves in such an extreme situation. But we do run into its cousin: "I don't really care what you are saying so I will go to my mental happy place."
Last Thursday night's comedy line-up on NBC provided two excellent examples of how active non-listening is a non-starter. The episodes of The Office and 30 Rock utilized Dwight's and Jenna's disengaged conversational engagement to great comic effect. And comedy can be instructive. So watch, laugh . . . and check yourself next time you feel a case of Dwight-Jennitis coming on.
Tips you can use! Write it down
Keep a list of talking points in each project folder. That way you always know what to say when someone asks you to "bring them up to speed."
Avoid mirrors
Don't check yourself in the mirror just before you step onstage/walk to the podium. Make sure your look is "set" well before the moment-before.
Keep track of the time
Make sure you craft your speech to fit in under the time allotted. And stick to your plan. Time flies when you're speaking. And no one likes a speaker who goes on too long!
